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JK Stenger's avatar

Hello, dear friend. Thank you for posting. This chapter is richly atmospheric and immersive, with vivid sensory detail and a compelling portrayal of Malekhar’s fractured mind. The shift when Samara appears works especially well and adds strong intrigue.

At times, the prose is (at least to me, but I am not really a fantasy writer, so I am no authority on the subject) a little dense and abstract, which may challenge some readers. I would strive for more clarity and grounding which could make your world even more engaging.

Overall, I enjoyed the way you play with words and you painted a vivid and captivating chapter with strong mood and character. A small point, I was confused in one place where you wrote 'hum' as if a person, and a few paragraphs later you wrote Hum with the capital. Also, what I like to do in my own novel is to always ad a small: "Previously on ...." It had been a while you published chapter 3 so I had to really think what had happened before. (Just my 2 cents worth. Your enthusiasm is palpable and encouraging.

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